Freshman Forgets to Peruse 142 Library Walk Fliers

(Arianna Gorman / The Triton)

Arriving at Library Walk on Tuesday, freshman Amanda Harrison realized that she had forgotten to peruse the 142 fliers she had collected there the previous day.

Monday was Harrison’s first day on the fully active Library Walk and she was “thrilled to be a part of such a bustling campus.” Witnesses report seeing her smiling, “but with a tinge of fear in her eyes.”

Harrison, managing the chaos by channeling it into short-lived motivation, collected dozens of fliers from clubs that she had a mild interest in and were “dope resume builders.” A bystander said Harrison was “especially interested in the groups that had cute advertisers.” 8.5’s and 9’s fared best.

As Harrison finally reached the end of Library Walk, she had plans to intern for the “Write In Bernie Sanders Campaign,” join no fewer than three Christian organizations, join a medical club focusing on engineering better Jello for pediatric hospitals, learn to beatbox, find a long-term excuse not to donate blood, go Greek, look up what go Greek meant, and attend a pizookie palooza.

Harrison then returned to her room and was subsequently distracted by her new roommate’s loud chewing. Evidence suggests this was the point at which her optimism began to fade. Her fliers were likely lost around the same time.

Realizing her mistake on Tuesday afternoon, and that she had missed the free pizookies, she figured she would “just join some stuff next year.”

It is still unreported exactly how many clubs will be affected by the loss of this potential new member.