My Top Fears for Sun God 2017

The lineup will be bad.

The lineup will be bad but I will attend anyways in order to maintain my social status as a cool student on campus.

The lineup will be bad but I will attend anyways in order to maintain my social status as a cool student on campus but none of my friends will go because they are too cool.

The lineup will be bad but my friend will win the Battle of the Bands and I’ll be forced to go in order to show my obligatory support.

They will be bad as well.

The lineup will actually be really good but I won’t be able to enjoy it because I’ll be too busy ironically complaining about how bad the lineup is.

I will drop my flower crown in the trash.

My professors will assign a copious amount of homework that’s due the day of the festival and while I’m struggling to finish everything all of my friends will be texting me about how good all the artists have been so far and I will hurriedly turn in the last of my homework, rush over to the field to hear the final act only to find out that they actually suck.

The lineup will be great and there will be no homework and all my friends will be there and out of nowhere I will meet this girl who’s really sweet and fun and we’ll spend the whole time talking and dancing and getting to know each other and I’ll start to think that I’ve finally met the girl of my dreams but then the period of tribulation foretold in the Book of Revelation will occur and the world will descend into a chaos.

My Instagram photo won’t turn out the way I want it to.

Curtis Yee is the editor of The Conch for The Triton.