Summer is over and school is back in session! The grind has begun and it’s time to find your new favorite spot to study on campus. Here are some tips from The Conch for the best places to study on campus to boost your efficiency, grades, and future salary, unless you are an art major.
These include volleyball, lacrosse, soccer, rowing, fencing, and everything besides basketball. Sporting events provide an excellent environment for studying, since the stands are less crowded than Geisel Library on a Tuesday night, and no one will be cheering or shouting to distract you from your math homework.
Here, you will find the most blissful peace and quiet ever. Rumor has it that noise levels at these events reach record lows of 20 decibels. However, it is recommended to bring a can of fresh Febreze to ward off potential wafts of the highly toxic chemical known as CSP (Computer Science Pheromones).
This is a great opportunity to take advantage of large, empty meeting spaces to write your 500-page paper. HDH is so understaffed that none of the workers will leave their stations to attend a staff meeting. If they do, students will riot and protest their meal’s three-hour wait time turning into a five-hour wait time.
Don’t worry if you’re not a Sixer or live off campus. Sixth College’s spacious lobbies, incredibly roomy bathrooms, massive common rooms, and giant kitchens are so big you could easily play a game of regulation football and no one would bother you. As for getting into the dorms, a 20-foot ladder is only $1,800 at Home Depot, or you could borrow one of the cranes at Eighth College’s construction sites. Just make sure to return it after.
This is actually a real, non-satirical recommendation. A recent poll showed that over 90% of the UCSD population does not know the school has a library other than Geisel.
Kevin Zhu is a Conch Writer for The Triton.
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