The Conch

Although formerly known as an amalgam of satire, quirky news, and non-fiction that did not find a home in one of the other sections, The Conch now exists as a strictly satirical section. Articles can employ a variety of design principles or gimmicks but should always have a point. These can include faux news reports, tongue-in-cheek op-eds, persona authors, and Buzzfeed-style lists.

UCSD Creates Real Estate Agency to Help Parents Pay for TuitionUCSD Creates Real Estate Agency to Help Parents Pay for Tuition

UCSD Creates Real Estate Agency to Help Parents Pay for Tuition

UC San Diego has founded its very own real estate agency to help struggling families sell their properties in order…

12 months ago
Man Returns Wallet, But “The Cash Was Gone, Bro”Man Returns Wallet, But “The Cash Was Gone, Bro”

Man Returns Wallet, But “The Cash Was Gone, Bro”

On Tuesday, October 18th, 2023, Warren College freshman Rex Shaw realized that he lost his wallet while returning from a…

1 year ago
Amazon’s Just Walk Out Couldn’t Be BetterAmazon’s Just Walk Out Couldn’t Be Better

Amazon’s Just Walk Out Couldn’t Be Better

Earlier this year, UC San Diego’s Housing Dining and Hospitality Department made headlines by announcing that three on-campus markets would…

1 year ago
Top 5 Places to Study at UCSDTop 5 Places to Study at UCSD

Top 5 Places to Study at UCSD

Summer is over and school is back in session! The grind has begun and it’s time to find your new…

1 year ago
Where is Podemos?Where is Podemos?

Where is Podemos?

If you have ever been lucky enough to enroll in a class that meets at PODEM, you might be wondering…

1 year ago
Dear Jets: I’m Really Going to Miss YouDear Jets: I’m Really Going to Miss You

Dear Jets: I’m Really Going to Miss You

Dear Jets, I’m really going to miss you. It’s hard to imagine what my days will be like without you…

2 years ago
The Art of Exaggeration: Navigating the Maintenance Request SystemThe Art of Exaggeration: Navigating the Maintenance Request System

The Art of Exaggeration: Navigating the Maintenance Request System

As a student at the prestigious University of Exaggeration, I've learned to navigate the labyrinthine maze of the notorious maintenance…

2 years ago
Lunchtime at UCSD: The Perpetual Postponement Lunchtime at UCSD: The Perpetual Postponement 

Lunchtime at UCSD: The Perpetual Postponement

There was an endless road of other students in front of me. I was hidden in the crowd. People were…

2 years ago
UCSD Aims to Address Appalling InfrastructureUCSD Aims to Address Appalling Infrastructure

UCSD Aims to Address Appalling Infrastructure

For both commuter and on-campus students alike at UC San Diego, a prevalent concern among all students is the infrastructure…

2 years ago
Sixth College: Making the Most of Isolation?Sixth College: Making the Most of Isolation?

Sixth College: Making the Most of Isolation?

One of the pandemic’s largest tolls on campus life has recently become strikingly obvious in the case of Sixth College…

4 years ago