Khosla Got This Bread So You Don’t Have To

Chancellor Pradeep Khosla was spotted stapling pieces of bread to the Eucalyptus trees in Warren Mall.

Ever in touch with the youth, Khosla said, “I keep in touch with the meme page, and I saw all these students saying they wanted to ‘get this bread.’ At first my reaction was ‘what bread? Is it wheat bread? Sourdough? A baguette?’ I never found an answer, so I took the same approach as I do with student demographics: white should be good enough.”

He said that it started as innocent motivation, but his plans quickly went a rye. Several faculty members consider the chancellor’s behavior to be going against the grain.

Professor John Eggers compared the act to a yeast which could rise into an unsavory precedent for students. “It’s a bad example to set,” he warned.

Chancellor Khosla responded by calling Eggers “stale.” He said he figured if someone gave the students bread, they could focus on their studies.

Still no word if his plan for bread trees will crumble. Khosla hopes the media attention will help with fundraising more dough. If UC San Diego fails to take advantage of this initiative, Khosla’s tenure as chancellor will surely be toast.

Patrick Alexander is a fourth-year burnout and Ella Chen is the Editor-in-Chief of The Triton.