Dear The Triton, I, your lowly former opinion editor, saw a submission in another (more incredible) campus publication today, and…
Chancellor Pradeep Khosla was spotted stapling pieces of bread to the Eucalyptus trees in Warren Mall. Ever in touch with…
The universe ceased to exist on Wednesday, when UC San Diego’s Spam Quarantine notification quarantined itself. The system tried to…
You stand in a quarter-mile line for too long. You scratch the skin under the wristband you’ve been wearing since…
Jimmy McDecker sits in his Marshall College Upper Apartment every Tuesday, desperately swiping on three different dating apps. As the…
Much like a UC San Diego student’s sense of self-worth, The Conch has taken a two-year hiatus. But now we’re…
When literature professors encouraged my classes to attend one of former UC San Diego professor Quincy Troupe's four readings in…
In 2010, UC San Diego paid consultants $28,000 to study the feasibility of establishing a football program at UCSD, as…
Content warning: The following article references suicide. Before intentionally swallowing a lethal dose of barbiturates, Helen Palmer Geisel wrote a…
This week, freshmen will encounter their first midterms in their often rightly-bemoaned college writing programs. For some, this is only…