Ask Amelia #1

The Conch

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Frustrated Texter: I’ve been receiving repeated attentions from someone, and I’m not sure how to get the message across that I’m not interested in him romantically. He lives in NorCal, and occasionally commutes to San Diego for work. He always wants to see me whenever I go home for the holidays or when he’s in SD, but I’m not interested in going on a date with him.

I’ve demurred several times, and said “no” straight out too. He agreed with me that the distance would make a relationship too hard to pursue right now, but he keeps asking me out. What can I say to make him stop asking? Is it okay to just stop responding to his texts since he won’t take no for an answer?


Dear Frustrated Texter,

I’m sorry that you’ve found yourself in this difficult situation but please remember that you are entitled to talk to, or not talk to, whoever you like. You should never feel an obligation to reply to someone’s texts, especially if the person on the other side is making unwanted advances towards you. In this particular situation, it sounds as if you have made it abundantly clear that you are not romantically interested in this person. Therefore, if he cannot accept this then you have every right to stop replying.

On the other hand, if you want to continue conversation with this person, but simply want him to stop making advances, just be honest with him. Politely let him know that his repeated attempts to ask you out have made you uncomfortable and be clear that if he continues this behavior you won’t be responding to his messages anymore.

I hope this helps!
Amelia

 

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