Dear The Triton, I, your lowly former opinion editor, saw a submission in another (more incredible) campus publication today, and…
Andrew Nguyen, an introverted first year in Sixth College, along with his suitemates, were invited to meet the members of…
Chancellor Pradeep Khosla was spotted stapling pieces of bread to the Eucalyptus trees in Warren Mall. Ever in touch with…
My dear friend in Eleanor Roosevelt College (ERC), If you are receiving this letter, it means that it has been…
The universe ceased to exist on Wednesday, when UC San Diego’s Spam Quarantine notification quarantined itself. The system tried to…
Jimmy McDecker sits in his Marshall College Upper Apartment every Tuesday, desperately swiping on three different dating apps. As the…
Much like a UC San Diego student’s sense of self-worth, The Conch has taken a two-year hiatus. But now we’re…
The lineup will be bad. The lineup will be bad but I will attend anyways in order to maintain my…
With three midterms this coming week, it has been confirmed that UCSD student Loraine Smithson has already taken her last…
Last year, one of the central arguments for Division I athletics was that it would be the final step towards…