The Conch
Although formerly known as an amalgam of satire, quirky news, and non-fiction that did not find a home in one of the other sections, The Conch now exists as a strictly satirical section. Articles can employ a variety of design principles or gimmicks but should always have a point. These can include faux news reports, tongue-in-cheek op-eds, persona authors, and Buzzfeed-style lists.

The Conch

Dear Semester System Losers

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Quarter system brothers and sisters, This past week, in an attempt to undermine and invalidate of our way of life, The Daily Californian at UC Berkeley …

The Conch

Audrey's: Geisel's Welcome Partner

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Students at UCSD most likely have experienced the mellow, studious, and often stressful vibe at Geisel Library (especially around midterms). However, this air of stressful dreariness …

The Conch

Write for the Conch! (Student Life)

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Are you a human?  Do you like writing?   If you fit both of these qualifications (and hopefully you fit at least one of them) then …

The Conch

Sun God 2016 Lineup Announced!

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There has been no shortage of Sun God Festival line-up rumors this year, as with all years. This year’s Sun God headliner will be a huge …

The Conch

Fallen Star to be Converted into a Triple

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In an effort to combat the burgeoning on-campus housing crisis, HDH Administrators and Stuart Collection Representatives announced their initiative to convert Do Ho Suh’s “Fallen Star” …

The Conch

4 Tips to Help Get Through Finals Week

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Really? I could have sworn the winter break was just a few weeks ago. It sneaks up every quarter and I never quite see it coming, …

The Conch

Brighten Someone’s Day

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We attend one of the most amazing schools in the state. Although I may sound like an advertisement — it’s true! We have stellar academics, amazing …

The Conch

Regents Move to Raise Winds

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Already upset about the recent series of raises in tuition, notably the adjustments to the already contentious scheme of tiered cohort pricing, students could barely contain …

The Conch

Bike Theft at UCSD

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In November alone, 30 bicycles were reported stolen on campus, according to the UCSD police department’s crime logs. However, this number is likely much higher as …

The Conch

Ask Amelia #1

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Frustrated Texter: I’ve been receiving repeated attentions from someone, and I’m not sure how to get the message across that I’m not interested in him romantically. …